It all starts with the spices:

• 3 tbsp chili powder
• 1 tbsp fine grind espresso
• 1 tbsp each: ground cumin, paprika and brown sugar
• 1/2 tsp each: salt, dry mustard, ground coriander, garlic powder, onion powder, oregano, red pepper flakes, and freshly ground black pepper
• 1/4 tsp cayenne
• 1 tbsp brown sugar

Add all of the above to a small frying pan, except for the brown sugar. Turning the spices often, heat over a low flame until the spice mixture begins to turn a darker shade of red. This is called "blooming" the mixture. It brings out the oils in the spices and turns up the flavor.

If you see any wisps of smoke, remove immediately - burnt spice isn't the smokey flavor you're after.

Transfer the spice mixture to a bowl and stir in the reserved brown sugar, mixing well.

At this point, your entire kitchen will smell wonderful.

The Meat:

• 2 - 3 lbs (approx. 1 kg) chuck roast, trimmed of excess fat and cubed into bite-sized pieces

Note that the meat will shrink while cooking. Approx. 1 inch square is a good starting point.

Lightly oil a large pan and sear the cubed beef on all sides over high heat. The object is to brown the meat while leaving it rare on the interior. Scrape off the fond (the burnt, yummy bits stuck to the bottom of the pan) with a little bit of beer, beef broth or water. You won't get much gravy but it's too good to waste.

Add the gravy and meat to a pot. Liberally season the meat with the spice mixture. You will have extra spice left over.

The Veggies:

• 3 or 4 celery sticks
• 2 large green peppers
• 2 medium onions
• 5 cloves garlic
• 1 - 1 1/2 chipotle peppers from a small can (each can = approx 8 peppers)
• 1 28 oz can of chopped (not crushed!) tomatoes
• 2 16 oz cans red kidney beans
• 1 small can of diced green chili peppers (not pickled)
• 1 16 oz bottle of ale or dark beer
• 1 16 oz can of corn, drained (if you're into that kind of thing)

In a colander, rinse and drain the kidney beans.

Add the beans, tomatoes, beer, (corn) and green chilies to the pot. Bring pot to a simmer.

The chipotle pepper is very hot and your dinner guests may not appreciate biting into a large chunk of one. For the reason, make sure the chipolte is crushed into a paste. This can be done by hand (with a spoon) or in a food processor, along with the garlic. Some liquid will be required if using a food processor.

Add the crushed garlic cloves and chipotle pepper to the pot and give it all a big stir.

Dice the celery, onion and green pepper. For bonus points, add texture by varying the size of the pieces from very small (which will all but disappear once cooked) to noticeably chunky. Throw that into the pot, too.

Simmer on lowest setting for a minimum of 2 hours. The largest celery pieces should have no crunch when done. Better yet, leave it to simmer for several hours, stirring frequently to prevent sticking to the bottom of the pot.

Top up with beef broth or additional beer to thin. Add remaining spice mixture to taste.

Alternative (Beach Geek approved) cooking instructions.

• Slow cooker: Add all ingredients as above, cooking on low setting as long as you can keep away from the cooker.
• Pressure cooker: Add all ingredients as above, cover pressure cooker and heat on high until pressure is reached. Reduce to lowest heat. Cook for 33 minutes at 15 lb/psi or 42 minutes at 11 lb/psi.

Your chili should optimally be served the next day, assuming there's any left.

Serve with grated cheddar or Monterrey jack and diced green onion.

Serves 10 - 12 normal humans or 1 hungry website developer 3 meals a day, three days in a row.